In a funk...

From the moment I found out that I was positive, I promised myself I wouldn't let it affect my life. I don't HAVE cancer so there really isn't anything to dwell on, but for some reason these past couple of weeks I have been in a major funk. I haven't been working out like I was before, Ive not been eating like I should and I have been sleeping a lot without feeling rested. I'm also losing my hair in handfuls. Its all over everything in the house and I can pull out clumps when I'm washing it in the shower. I obviously have a lot on my mind, but I refuse to let the stress of it all overcome me. I started this blog partly because it helps to write down my feelings so I don't keep going over and over things in my head. I wouldn't call me depressed or anything, just in need of a major boost. I guess it doesn't help that I have been staying in the house with the kids a lot lately. I have been extremely whiny and complaining to my husband about everything, really. I honestly don't understand how he has been so good to me, when I find that I even get annoyed at myself. I really didn't even want to admit all of this in writing, but realized its a healthy part of this whole process. I'm going to have ups and downs and that is normal. A lot of what helps is the support that I am getting from all of my family and friends. You have all made me see that it does take courage and strength to go through this.
Today is the day my sister finds out if she has the gene as well. I'm so nervous for her. I have thought about it a great deal and if there was a choice between the two of us having it, I would wish it upon myself in a heartbeat. She is already a year away from when mom was diagnosed and hasn't yet gone through the joys of having children or breastfeeding. She works full time to support herself and her husband, so if she had to go through surgery she would be out of work for several weeks. It makes me even more thankful that we have such amazing health coverage and that Joey's command will let him take leave to take care of me while I am healing. The military is not a great life a majority of the time, but it definitely has its perks.
So please keep my sister in your prayers, pray that she is one of the negatives.

UPDATE:
Someone pointed out to me how I hadnt posted or talked about my sister's results. She had some issues with insurance and paperwork so they delayed her results a couple weeks further, but she did finally get them. She also, has tested positive for this evil gene mutation. We live pretty much across the country from one another so dont get a chance to talk often. Its really hard because out of everyone, I feel we could support each other the best. ESPECIALLY since ive now gone through the surgery. She has MANY medical issues that are not in her favor of having children at the moment and she really wanted them before having surgery. Its just not going to happen. Currently she is looking for a team of doctors. She lives in a small town in Washington state and has to travel to our home town of Spokane, or even better, to Seattle, to find an experienced team to do her prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. I can tell she is scared and nervous, obvious emotions that come with this whole ordeal. I will post a link to her blog so you may follow her journey as well. She is hoping to get her surgery done within the next few months. Im very proud of her because she has stopped smoking for about a month now :) A HUGE step in the right direction!