The Days Leading up to Surgery

Sunday was my birthday and I planned on making it a day all about ME. These are pretty rare so I was really looking forward to it. A couple of girlfriends and I carpooled to Olive Garden where we had a delicious meal and some interesting conversation. My friends and family always crack me up in their “jealousy” over me getting a tummy tuck and new boobs. It helps keeps me positive. After lunch we went to the mall to one of those Asian nail places and enjoyed pedicures in the lovely extremely shaky massage chairs. We then browsed the mall and shopped a bit. I got myself a new pair of boots and some new earrings, if you know me, you know its an addiction I have J I felt so much better to have some time out with the girls to light heartily talk about my surgery and celebrate ME. They truly made me feel so spoiled. The next days to come were SO busy. I was trying to keep up on the constant laundry, washing sheets, organizing the pantry etc. Getting as much done for my husband as possible. The easier it is on him, the more relaxed I can be. The night before came and I seemed to be completely fine. So fine, I even questioned myself. I was busy packing the kids bags, my bag, vacuuming, and making sure I had lists of contacts typed up and all paperwork for the hospital ready. We dropped off the kids and Lily with my good friend Sara and Hershey with my awesome neighbor Stacy. I guess I hadn’t had time to really THINK about what I was preparing for. At night I was in my bedroom and it HIT me like a ton of bricks. Joey wasn’t doing exactly what I needed (he had no idea) and I just blew up and fell to the floor and started bawling. The pressure of having to prepare for everyone had gone away and I was able to finally think of myself. I cried a lot that night. For some reason I was mourning the loss of sensation the most. I wanted to be touched by my husband, but he seemed to not get it. Men have to be told these types of things. I needed one last night of extreme intimacy. I guess I thought that I could somehow soak up the feeling and it would help me to remember how it felt to have my breasts touched sexually. It really wasn’t the case. Every time he touched me I would start crying, because I just couldn’t keep reality from slipping back into my mind. We finally fell asleep around midnight with Joey just holding me. I would need lots of sleep for the days of emotional and physical exhaustion in my very near future.